July 08, 2008 @ 4:08 pm

Mashonda: Bruised But Not Broken

by: Shirea L. Carroll

The wife of Swizz Beatz gives VIBE.com the goods on the gossip and going hard with her new music career. 

Kasseem “Swizz Beatz” Dean and Mashonda Tifrere-Dean, were seemingly one of the happiest couples in the music industry.  But all that came to an abrupt end on April 23, 2008 when Swizz’s camp announced their separation.  

Since the news broke, rumors have been swirling about the break up being caused by an extra marital affair and celebrity drama. Swizz himself has adamantly denied the break up being anything more than irreconcilable differences and has championed their close “working” relationship.

Mashonda, on the other hand, has a somewhat different story to tell. The singer/songwriter, who’s currently promoting two singles, “All or Nothing” featuring Lady Saw and “No Panties”, is moving full steam ahead with her music career. But she can’t shake the questions or the blogosphere chatter surrounding why and how the beloved hip hop couple could end out of nowhere.

Over drinks and sushi on the Hotel Gansevoort rooftop in New York City, Mashonda sets the record straight with VIBE.com.

VIBE: Between 1998 and 2008 how have you developed musically?

Mashonda: My writing skills have gotten better because I’ve experienced so much more and have more to write about.  Vocally, I’m 100 percent better, I’ve been training and touring, so I have more confidence and swag.

Are you still on Swizz’s label?

Let me clear that up, Full Surface is our label.  And, yes I am still on the label, I don’t know if it’s going to change, but that’s what it is right now.

Where are you with the production of the album?

I’m still in the studio, being very selective with the sound and feel. I want to be careful how I express everything.

What’s the title of the album?

The Renovation Series –it’s me, a renovation of my life. Meaning I’ve been in one situation for ten years and feel like it was time.. I want people to be not afraid of change, because I know I was.  Living any other way than how I was living didn’t seem realistic.  I want people to know change is possible, and sometimes for the best.

Speaking of changes what producers do you have on your album, will production still include Swizz?

I am going with a lot of unknown people that have heart.   Like Drop, one of Swizz’s protégé’s, produced “No Panties,” and then there is Tony Kelly a big reggae producer who did “All or Nothing.” Swizz definitely wants to be involved and he should be. I got to give t it to him, Swizz is the most hard working motivated person in the music industry.

Talk about the singles, “No Panties” and “All for Nothing”.

 I feel people expect me to do a lot of scorned man hating songs, but “No Panties” is my man loving song.  “All or Nothing,” is a polite but sarcastic tell off.  It’s when a man wants all from a woman, and when she needs something it’s task, so you begin to do you and let them do them. Honestly when I wrote that song, I did not have Swizz in mind. Even when he listened to it he thought the song was about him. It really wasn’t, but maybe it was subliminally coming out on the paper.

We mentioned Swizz a couple of times, let’s go back when you first met.

I had a picture hanging on the wall in the studio, and he had the guy that owned the studio call me.  We talked for a whole month before we met up for a semi-blind date.  When I met him he looked like he was 15, but he was so sweet and charming he won me over. We moved in together, got our first apartment together, and became a support system for each other.

Married for how long?

We wed February 15, 2003 so 5 years, but we been together for 10 years.

For people who don’t know Swizz Beatz, who is he as a man?

He is definitely a laid back type of guy.  He is a people’s person, a great talker, and a charmer.

Who is Mashonda?

I believe in real things like morals and ethics. I’m cool, fly, and anyone who knows me can’t deny I am extremely loyal.  When I was in my relationship I gave him 100.  Like I wouldn’t even talk to other people. There’s not one person who I can say I gave them air play in the last 10 years. Not one number, not one conversation, nothing. 

How about now? There were some rumors regarding [Alicia Keys’ fiancée´] Krucial Keys.

The media turned this whole Krucial Keys thing into some ridiculousness.  Went out to D-Nices’ birthday party – a very good and mutual friend of both Swizz and I – to have a good time and promote the album. I get caught up in all the unnecessary shit for no reason.  I don’t even want to make a big deal about it because I’m not worried.  Everything I’m going through in my personal life is not for publicity. People don’t risk their marriage, personal beliefs and children for bullshit publicity.  I want to dead the assumptions, fake media rumors, and All the Krucial rumors – it’s crazy.

When I say Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz how do you feel?

No comment.

Okay.

No comment says a lot, right? Yeah, no comment says a whole lot.

So you and Swizz were married, had a son, when did you find out it was a wrap?

For legal issues I can’t discuss, but eventually I will.  I just want people to understand that in January 2008 at my birthday party, in my eyes my husband and I seemed perfectly happy.  Hip-Hop Weekly did an exclusive, and things were fine. Whatever happened after that, I wasn’t aware. I didn’t know about anything, it was a rude awakening. I feel like I gave too much already, but just know I am in no way shape or form using what is going on to push my music. The media is creating a scandal, and I’m creating music, it’s not apart of each other.

Understood. What are you doing for your career so you’re not labeled just Swizz Beatz ex-wife?

There is no ex-wife situation yet, we’re not even legally separated yet. We are still in the beginning stages.

So it’s a break?

Maybe it’s a break, I don’t know. I don’t know if shit will ever be the same, and I don’t honestly see how it could.  Maybe this is God saying we need to do us for a minute, and I’m not pushing for anything but peace at this point. I’m not wanting him to crawl back and I’m not on his heals. All I want is peace and to be on decent terms for our son.

For so long you were Mashonda, Swizz Beatz, wife, and not Mashonda the artist. How are you going to change that?

It’s hard. I’ve had the label as Swizz’s wife forever. I was in a box. There were times I would cancel shows because he was sick, people would look at me like I had ten fucking heads, like ‘Are you serious?’ It was a part of why people didn’t take me seriously, and I understand it was my fault. They were my decisions and mishaps. But when you are someone’s wife you want do right by them 100 percent. No matter what anyone says Swizz always wanted me to be just his wife, he didn’t want the artist and the wife.  He wanted the wife! Then I respected it.  But music was still inside of me, and didn’t go anywhere when I met him.  When I met him I was on my shit. He tried to be supportive, but it’s my turn to take it to another level independently and put out good music.

Describe your relationship.

Our relationship, compared to others, was the most sacred, private relationship. We weren’t the paparazzi type couple, we more normal than anything else, but in any relationship, shit happens. We’ve been together for ten years and got together really young. I don’t blame him per se’ for what happened, because it’s life and people make mistakes and people regret their mistakes.

Was there a change in Swizz as he got deeper in the industry?

Oh girl, yes! But with Swizz it took time. There was definitely a slight change.

Slight?

Let’s use the word-different, not really the same person I knew 10 years ago.

Did you change?

I got smarter. He might say I got comfortable.

What hurt the relationship?

Swizz went from producer to rapper and that’s where the shift started. I was pregnant at the time. I didn’t even know about his song “It’s Me Bitches” until after I got out the hospital. I’m like, ‘Word, your doing a video and the baby is three weeks old?’ I was happy for him, it was just bad timing. I know he had to promote, but I had just had our son, and had to ask ‘Am I doing this alone?’

What song would describe you and your situation right now?

Definitely, Joss Stone’s “Bruised but Not Broken.” I stopped asking God for strength, but for patience. When you ask God for strength you are asking for a challenge, I don’t want to be challenged, I pray for patience. I put everything in God’s hands and give it back to him. This is not my fight.

So now, is it love or are you still in love?

No. It’s love.

How quick does “in love” go away in ten years? Do you resent anyone?

(Silence) That’s deep. No. I love him. He’s been a part of my life for ten years… I still don’t believe that this is really him.  He’s going through whatever he’s going through and that is fine.  But, it’s still a lot of love.  He’s the father of my child, you know… and he’s a human being; we’re both human beings.  And I don’t put fault on him entirely.  I’m sure we both had some parts to do with it.  In the beginning there was resentment, but not now. We are all under God, and so there’s no reason to resent anyone, there’s nothing that I can do or say to change this, we’ll all be well taken care of.

Article tags: Alicia Keys, Lady Saw, Swizz Beatz 

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